In which I am unwittingly re-indoctrinated into FARMING.
I come from an actual farm in Galway but I had a love-hate relationship with it as a child (loved pet lambs, hated the mortification of holding up traffic to move livestock between fields). Over the Summer Colm and his brother increased their small flock of sheep that they started when we lived here for my maternity leave last year.
I thought it was just a fad then.
But it’s not.
Last Thursday I was asked to help.
Colm Get the raddle paint, put it on there.
Adrienne What, I’m doing this?!
Colm Yes, I have to hold the ram still.
Adrienne Maybe I can hold the ram still?
Colm No, you can’t. Get the raddle there.
Adrienne How do I put it on?! Should I get a paintbrush?
Colm Use the gloves there.
Adrienne Where do I put it?
Colm Around there- wait! Where are you going with it?!
Adrienne Under his belly back here?
Colm No, no, no! It doesn’t go near his lad!
Adrienne I didn’t think it had to go near his lad!
Colm Well, it goes to his front.
Adrienne I’m spilling it now.
Colm Hurry up, we can’t hold him here for long.
Adrienne I’m trying. I can’t see what I’m doing.
Colm Don’t put it on so high on his front.
Adrienne Well, where then?!
Colm Lower down! On his chest.
Adrienne Here?! Or where?
Colm You tell me. Have you his front well covered?
Adrienne I don’t know! I can’t see and he keeps wriggling.
Colm Where is the child meanwhile –
Adrienne He’s just there. To child. Get down from there!
I’m getting this stuff on my dress.
Colm What are you wearing?! You’re sheep farming!
Adrienne Says who! I never wanted to be a sheep farmer!
Colm Why are you rubbing it on his face?!
Adrienne I’m not rubbing it on his face, I’m trying to rub it OFF his face!
Colm How are you getting it everywhere?!
Adrienne I don’t know! I want to make sure I get enough on.
Colm I think you’ve probably managed that all right.
Adrienne No smart comments!
Colm Is he done do you think? Will we let him out to the yard?
Adrienne I have no idea! I’m not a sheep farmer!
Colm Let him out there till we see.
Oh Christ. What have you done to the ram.
Adrienne Oh dear.